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| i hate people who think that they can expect something out of me, yet i'm not allowed to want anything in return. and by anything i mean i deserve respect. of course, i'm told that i get it, that all he ever does is respect me. why is it that i always find the guy who's going to treat me like shit, cheat on me with a best friend, or break up with me for another girl. i've never had a relationship end in any other way. i can't take his shit anymore. i really don't want to be taken advantage of anymore. she ruined it for me. it's her fault that shit has been hitting the fan lately. i mean yeah we had a bunch of problems before, but none like the ones that have come up since she became a third party in this relationship. i'm not in it for the threesome. i'm not for sharing my guy with someone else. you can have him. if you don't want him then get the hell out of my fucking life.
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| I'm so sick of the drama. I'm 21 years old, she's 25(?). People need to grow up. Seriously. I'm sorry that you and your fiance broke up. I really am. You're the one who gave the ring back. Yeah, he did break up with you, but it was over a year ago. I can't believe how immature you're being about this! I really am trying to keep calm about it and not want to push you down a fucking hill in your wheelchair (which I'm sorry that you're in, I really am) but it's so hard when you're talking to your ex (who's now my boyfriend) about wanting to get back together with him, and telling him that you can treat him better and you know how to take care of him. I don't care if you see him, I don't care if you talk to him, but if you're going to start talking about how he's better off with you than with me, stop with the fucking shit, or I'm going to punch you in the face. Or push you down a set of stairs. No matter what the outcome will be for me. Keep it up, I swear to God you can have him back, get exactly what you want, anything to get you out of my life forever. I didn't want that in the beginning. I was hoping that you and Tommy could be friends, and I wouldn't get in the middle of that. But now that this is happening, and half his friends hate me and think I'm a cheating liar (which I'm not...) and won't talk to me or hang out with me unless Tom begs them to, and the other half thinking that you're a cheating, conniving liar (which you are...), he's being torn in two, and I don't want him to have to choose. Stop with the bullshit, stop with the lies. Start telling the truth. About me. About him. About everything.
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| In a few weeks...
A year has past and now we stand on the brink
of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything
yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs
and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names
on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to
say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return
to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to
the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come
into town on that same familiar road, and even thought it has been months,
it will seem like only yesterday.
As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as
you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become.
You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year
ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest
now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first?
Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What
has everyone been up to? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How
long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling
or knocking? Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning? How
long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by yourself, or how long before
you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room?
Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part
of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in,
trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure
out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling
time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends,
walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual
procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact
that we have lived in it for nineteen years.
But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We
know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold
dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the
real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped
our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their
even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night
just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid
stuff, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been
times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know
our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we
have made a difference.
A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our
pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for
hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls
will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories
and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this
world.
A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now from now
we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive
over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will
return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought
us laughter and tears over the past year. We will unpack old memories and
dreams that have been put away for the past year.
A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and
conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow,
in someway, we will find our place between these two worlds.
In a few weeks.... are you ready? | | |
| i hate that i trust someone with all of my heart, and then they go and betray me...
especially when i find it out the hard way...
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| Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah Yeah, With you, Yeah Yeah
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever | | |
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